I am continually amazed at the way in which grief hides in the secret recesses of our soul only to rear its ugly head in the most expected ways. Yesterday, I received a completely innocuous email from friend that was only informational. As I read the three lines of the email and perused the attachements I found myself overcome with rage. Now, that came out of nowhere – or so I thought. I went to bed in an unnamed fury only to be met with a marathon of dreams that left me feeling exhausted at morning’s light. As I pondered the topic of today’s blog, it hit me- DUH, the rage I felt upon reading this innocent email was simply another face of grief.
Grief is the mysterious gift granted to us from our loving Source to help us move through the losses and transitions of our life. While moving through the grieving process is rarely pleasant, it is only in being present to this grief that we can move through the loss and be open to the new life promised by our Divine Source. In every death/loss, there exists the promise of new life.
In the contemplative life, we are invited to be present to our grief and recognize it as a necessary tool for healing. Being present to this grief allows us to recognize the bizarre appearance of depression, sorrow and rage as symptoms of a loss as yet unhealed. This was exactly my experience as rage stared me in the face over a seemingly insignificant email. Today, I can recognize this rage as related to a significant loss in my life and honor that perhaps this loss remains unhealed. So for today, I will be gentle with myself as my spirit moves through another layer of this loss trusting that this process is leading me on a path to new life and greater spiritual freedom.
As a side note – it might be helpful to know that this journey through grief can be supported and facilitated through the loving support of an accomplished Grief Counselor and/or Spiritual Director. Know that in those situations where grief surfaces in your own life, that you do not need to make this journey alone!