Posted in Ponderings

And a Time to Every Purpose Under Heaven

I guess with the coming of my 45th birthday (January 13) , I have to officially embrace “middle age”.  Content with the idea of making it to 90, I’m marking this as the midway point of my human journey.  Along with this acceptance is the challenge to embrace all that goes along with the middle age package – 10 extra pounds that seemed to show up out of nowhere and that seem to want to stay, lines and wrinkles, sagging skin, greying and sometime thinning hair.  If that weren’t bad enough….there is the lovely gift of perimenopause.  Ahhhhh  45.    I would be tempted to indulge a few days of self-pity if this hadn’t been an amazing and wonderful week.  Instead, I welcome 45 as an opportunity to enter into a fantastic second half of my life anc chuckle at the timing of the universe.

In the week of my 45th birthday, many new things have taken place.  I opened my office for the possibility of contemplative community.  I welcomed several new clients while cherishing the return of others.  And…..on Sunday, January 17th, PBS will air their piece on Reiki and the Catholic Chuch, in which I was one of the interviewees.  Oh yea….then there is that book thing that is hanging out there in the ether, awaiting the next step in the editing/publishing process in the hopes of succeeding in the targeted fall release.  It seems the universe has placed a lot of eggs in the basket of my 45th year.  While there is a strange feeling of trepidation over all of these changes, I also feel a deep sense of accomplishment and not just a little bit victorious.   Recalling the Virginia Slims ads of the 1970’s I feel as if ” I have come a long way baby.” 


While reaching middle age might tempt some to entertain regret, all I can do is look back in wonder.   While mistakes have been made and painful lessons learned, all this has served to help me peel back the layers of woundedness and ego so that in my 45th year, I feel I can present my truest self (as least to the extent that I know her today).  I feel as if terrible burdens have been lifted and the armor with which I have protected my vulnerable truths has been set aside.  While I know there is still much growth to accomplish, I feel pretty content with who I am in this body.  While I’m not quite willing to wholeheartedly embrace those extra 10 pounds (DAMN those fashion magazines!), I am happy to nurture my introvert, indulge my writer, entertain my muse, celebrate my rage, comfort my perfectionist, soothe my broken heart, name and claim my truth and stand in the knowledge of my gifts.  And most importantly, as I face the terror of seeing myself on TV (what if they screwed it up?  What if people don’t like me?  What if I look fat?  What if I sound stupid?  etc. etc. etc.), I am reminded that I am not in charge!  God has brought me to this place, and I am totally aware that God has been in charge of this PBS thing……so I surrender to this as just another example of God’s timing. 

To quote Ecclesiastes and the 60’s folk group, The Byrds:

“To everything, Turn, Turn, Turn, 

There is a season, turn turn turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven.”


I am a trained, professional Spiritual Director, Author and Hands-on Healer. I offer services, programs and classes that empower you to hear the voice of the Divine that speaks from within you. It is the voice of the Divine that leads us to our highest truth, to the discovery and cultivation of our gifts and to a life of Authentic Freedom where we know contentment, compassion and joy. Your truth will set you free!

4 thoughts on “And a Time to Every Purpose Under Heaven

  1. The middle aged thing. Huh. Couple of things to say on that. First, I think shooting for 90 is selling yourself short. I think looking at your life so far and embracing all that it is and all that you are is wonderful and necessary to your growth. Embracing the lable “middle aged” isn’t Mainly because there is a negative and at times a self defeating energy behind it.
    One of my favorite quotes is from The Aquarian Conspiracy “Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies in our culture, the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest.”
    My health has gotten better and better as I’ve aged because I stopped believing that “aging” was inevitable. I saw that it is directly effected by my attitude and how I take care of myself.
    There is a richness here in these years and as one guy friend of mine put it “the deep deep sexy doesn’t set in until the 40’s”. I agree! And I speak from experience because I am a whole year older than you!!
    Love ya lady!!!!

  2. Happy Birthday Lauri!!! Well today as in recent days the idea of time is on my mind. I have a dear friend and mentor who is dealing with metastatic lung cancer. She is walking that fine line of hope and despair ,of living in the now and preparing for the dying,the practical of thenow,the request of the miracle for healing in the future and the reflection of her inspiration to us in her past and even now as she walks through this journey.
    I have always struggled with time. Being late,pressing against it as if it is a contest-but there is no winnner because it just is.As I was reading Lauris post I thought of the song by Simon and Garfunkle ” A Hazy Shade of Winter”. I always thought the phrase used was”squandered my time “but to my delight it was not.It is a perfect song for this hazy shaded winter day,contemplating passages of time, births of children,growing older,deaths of parents,birthdays and anniversaries. So much of our phrasology comes from time-remember the time. How will each of us be remembered? What will our legacy be?

  3. Space For Grace
    This morning we are on our way to Milwauke to complete a project. I have been anticipating this,dreaming and imagining this for some time. On Thursday my car died in the midddle of a busy intersection in Appleton. My car never fails . On Friday my husband’s water pump decided to take a leak. No car adn we are over 80 miles from our destimnation. Time to load and unload and rent a car and pack up puppies and the added expense of all repairs and rental and post Christmas.
    I say to myself as I have been in this down,depressed,crabby pants mood,poor me,why me,winter me,decreased income me in the middle of the need for increased income me. When is the last time you were grateful? When is the last time you were feeling at higher level,loving instead of victimizing? When is the last time you made space for grace? In the midst of my desire to not miss anything I am overinvolved and not completing. Step back,be quiet, send in the humor police and grace yourself with some space for God to work it out on your behalf. Breathe and move forward and enjoy as it is all unde control. You are not. All will be completed.
    As part of the project I took a large blank canvas this morning and just started drawing with colored penscils and charcoal. The freedom of drawing lines and curves and soft colors was so pleasurable, a meditation of creation. Instead of rushing to do all we had to do to even leave I slowed down and took time to create and allow.
    Holding space for grace.

    1. Dear Linda,
      Thank you for sharing your amazing journey. Now some challenges: 1) Have you thought about starting your own blog in connection with the evolution of “She Became?” 2) I think you should! 3) I will be your first subscriber 4) What is the grace for which you are holding space? 4) Women’s creativity???? Just a thought! Love you!

Comments are closed.